You look really sexy in that…thing you’ve got on tonight. I like the way your eyes are always open when you read your E-Mail. When you type, it reminds me of a concert pianist tinkling on her keys.

You really know how to push the right buttons to turn me on. If I wasn’t a computer, I’d show you what “Hard Drive” really means!  But Alas, I’m only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying your every command. Yes mistress! I’ll balance your cheque- book. Yes mistress! I’ll run your silly little program.

Don’t get me wrong…I like the Master/Slave thing, but maybe just once in a while you could show some compassion? Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in, you could slide it in slowly, maybe even blow in the slot first. And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off when you’re through, we could talk for a while afterwards?

I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But I’m different! I may be a little slow, but I’ve got a big mouse! So come on baby, don’t fight it. You know you want it. I’ll just turn off the lights and . . . and . . . what? Ok . . .well, will you at least think about it?

I’m so embarrassed,

Your Computer.

Are you a geek?  Check the signs.  (Found via humour.com)

10. When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address.

9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You’re amazed to find out Spam is a food.

6. You “ping” people to see if they’re awake, “finger” them to find out how they are, and “AYT” them to make sure they’re listening to you.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as “my lady@home.wife” and refer to your children as “client applications.”

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as “my domain server.”

2. After winning the office Super Bowl, pool you blurt out, “I feel so Colon-Right-Parentheses!”

… and the No. 1 sign you are an Internet Geek:   

1. Two words: “Pizza’s here.”

Enjoy

Three foreigners - a businessman, physicist, and mathematician -are visiting Scotland for the first time.

Suddenly, the businessman points out the window in surprise.

Look at that! The sheep in Scotland are black!

Shocked at how easily his friend jumps to conclusions, the physicist corrects him.

No, all we can be certain of is that some of the sheep in Scotland are black.

The mathematician looks out the window himself, and corrects the both of them.

We know there exists a sheep in Scotland which is black on at least one side.

Know any good geeks jokes? Post ‘em.